Eli Drake’s “It’s A Fact of Life” Segment:
Let Drake talk to you. It doesn’t take more then five seconds to look around the Impact Zone and know that the world is filled with dummies. There’s dummies everywhere. As the official mayor of dummies. Drake has made a opportunity for himself. The greatest talk show in TNA history is a Fact of Life. Drake is here to point out all the dummies in the world. Drake calls Jeff Hardy a dummy for jumping off a scaffold. Drake calls Galloway a dummy for defending his title with his ribs taped up. Drake introduces his two guest, The Bro Mans. Robbie and Jessie try to figure out which number dummy they are. Robbie assumes that Drake is calling them dummies. Drake says that Jessie had something going for him when he was riding Drake’s coat tails, but now he wants to associate himself with a greaseball from a terrible state.
Drake says that he could’ve been tag team champions with Jessie, but Jessie is a dummy. Bro Mans makes fun of Drake’s dummy button. Jessie calls Drake a douchebag. Drake says that if Jessie could’ve carried his load, Grado would’ve never beat him. Drake is moving on from the past is looking towards the future. Eli Drake says that he’s patiently awaiting cashing his briefcase for the King of the Mountain Championship. Drake calls Jessie a dummy and it’s not a insult it’s a fact of life. Drake slaps Jessie in the face. Jessie tells Robbie E to hold onto his glasses while he kicks Eli Drake’s ass. BroMans begin to beatdown Drake. Drake rolls out of the ring and heads to the back. Robbie E says that Drake is the only dummy in the Impact Zone and they hit the dummy button.
