Source: PWTorch.com
— The ECW One Night Stand DVD was released Tuesday and their is an alternative track commentary feature. It’s commentary of JBL as he watched the ECW PPV from the balcony that evening. Here are some of the more notable things he had to say.
– He keeps on calling Mike Awesome: “Mike Awful.”
– As Masato Tanaka comes out, JBL yells five or six times: “THATS MY DOORMAN!”
– As Tommy Dreamer comes out, he says, “This is the main event??”
– As Sandman looks under the ring: “What’s he looking for now, a treadmill?” “Or an oxygen tank!”
– As the BWO comes out: “And you wonder why they went out of business”
– About Blue Meanie: “Fat f— with blue hair. Go find your porn star wife!”
– About Meanie as he’s dancing on the middle rope: “It looks like a donkey screwing a basketball, him being up there. Go donate your body to science fiction, you fat lowly lowly (yes, he says it twice) pig. He looks like a blue haired 800 pound Abe Lincoln.”
– As Big Stevie Cool is giving his speech: “Go home now.”
– As Kash comes down: “This is a carnival.”
– On Balls: “They’re chanting balls” and then chants along with them saying “balls” approximately 100 times before saying, “You know if you really beat someone, you lick them. Does this mean you lick balls.”
– On Axl: “Has anyone heard of the Atkins diet”
– On Balls & Axl (this is funny because of Johnny Ace’s interest in signing them): “Who are the fat guys who came in?”
– On the main event: “This could be awful, but it might not be good. I gotta be drunk for this one.”
– Regarding Mike Awesome: “Someone run in make Awesome use one of his 93 finishers…”
– When Lance Storm runs in: “You can hear the paint dry. Here comes the most boring man in the history of boring. Lance Storm couldn’t fill an arena if you gave free beer and free tickets. They say he’s retiring today, (mumbled) if a tree falls in a forest, no one cares. National Hockey League. No one cares.”
– Lance gets thrown out: “Is his career over now? Bye Lance, don’t come back.”
– As the flaming table gets lit: “Now that’s heat! Is there not a fire marshal in the New York state watching this?”
