Alicia Fox shares details about the dark side of being in the public eye.
Former WWE Divas Champion Alicia Fox has been a free agent since the start of May when she announced she was no longer under WWE contract. Since then, she’s participated in convention signings and is making interview appearances as she figures out what’s next for her in the wrestling industry.
During a recent appearance on The Ryback Show via Twitter Spaces, Alicia Fox opened up about whether or not it was difficult to transition out of “the machine.”
“Yeah, actually. To be honest with you, I never knew what the first day out of that machine would look like for me,” Fox said. “I think what I can say honestly is, you know me pretty well, I’m a pretty sensitive person. So when the fans were coming up to me and giving me their experience of where my character has been, all these things, that’s when I learned I don’t really have to go and put my opinion. I need to know the difference between my opinion of my experience and the experience that can be appropriate for sharing.
“So in between getting to know these fans at these signings and stuff, I get to notice that most of them are workers. Most of them are trying to get into the business, most of them have taken a bump. To me, I feel like that has been what’s making this transition so warm and welcoming because the people who come and watch and put their butts in those seats, to a degree, they’ve been in our shoes. I think there’s so much to be shared in that space of conversation because I don’t have to go and try to explain my opinion of politics, you know, things that would have maybe broke my spirit.”
Fox then shifted to discuss how she battled loneliness and alcohol addiction while on the road.
“I did mention that I did have a pretty public drinking degree in my profession, but that was things that I want to create a conversation on my terms to share about because I think the part that I do mourn a little bit is where the narrative and, you know, you follow these storylines as a performer, and I just kept weaving myself into this crazy basket. It’s still difficult to get out of it.”
Ryback discussed how the touring schedule and stress of being on the go non-stop is taxing and lonely. He understands how it can be easy to fall down the path of becoming an alcoholic with that lifestyle, but he also thought Fox was always a professional at work. Ryback then praised her for sharing her story so that younger people can see that she is giving back now.
“I appreciate that,” Fox responded. “Yeah, it’s just an interesting road, that hotel hell. I think it’s kind of funny because I was just mentioning with one of my girlfriends, it’s hard sometimes as you get healthy, you need those memories of complete debauchery sometimes as assets. One moment recently I finally was able to realize like, ‘Well, what was going on in that hotel? What was I so lonely and fearful about?’ And for myself, sometimes we’d have a match and you could ride the sound of the audience, and you think you got good feedback, and maybe you go back in Gorilla and they’re all high-fiving you and stuff. But for myself, there still was this curiosity about my performance or as a creator.
“I didn’t really know how to process certain aspects of it. But when I would get back to my room, Victoria would just want to come out and decompress and just kind of like — again, the sound of the arena took a while for me to temper down in the evening, and I’d find myself drinking wine and [watching] Forensic Files, like complete opposite things.”
Ryback echoed that sentiment as he would feel negative emotions once he got to the hotel because it felt like Groundhog Day going through the rush of performing in front of thousands of people to being alone in a car or in a hotel room away from the people they love.
“Yeah, completely agree,” Fox said. “One of the things I realized is when I’m at my hotel room being by myself and everything, I was decompressing, yes, but it was also like a form of isolation. Once it got to a point of me believing that I was just a lonely person on the road, I started believing those things. In a sense of our wrestling experience, every experience still seems kind of different somewhat because I think a lot of what I experienced in my loneliness was I didn’t share many rental cars with girls because I couldn’t be in another relationship on the road. It was very rare.”
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If you use any quotes from this article, please credit The Ryback Show with a h/t to WrestleZone for the transcription.
