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Do you too have your alarm set for Saturday morning’s Super Show-Down? It’s gonna be like Fox Kids in the 90s for me as I sit in front of the TV shirtless with a bowl full of fruit-shaped Trix (that’s right, think of me shirtless), but cut out X-Men, Batman: The Animated Series and Bobby’s World in favor of some better-than-average booking. Hell In A Cell was good show overall I think (clusterf*ck finish notwithstanding) and in light of the record-low ratings for Raw this past Monday I’m wagering we’ll get a darn decent show out of the deal. I got four and a half matches right for HIAC (I’m kind of counting Reigns-Braun due to the predicted interference) so I’m keeping my spoons crossed that I’ve got nowhere to go but up. I’m gonna pull my best Jason from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and T-Rex this beast. Let’s go go Super Show-Down!
Undertaker vs. Triple H
With the Crown Compromise looming, that “Last Time Ever” tagline rings about as hollow as a mid-90s Funk retirement. These two are certain to dance once more in some type of fashion, one that’s on track to downplay the significance of Shawn Michaels’ return to the ring. I suspect some Heartbreak and Hellfire hijinks to go down between the two corner men, costing The Deadman’s Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven to fall at the hands of Hunter’s Hackman, furthering these old dogs to show teeth once more.
Winner: Triple H
The Shield vs. The Dogs of War
Speaking of dogs (yes I’m going back to that dried up water dish of ingenuity), we have The Shield battling Braun and the Double Ds. Even though these posses haven’t tangled toes once, it feels like they’ve faced each other at least five times already. This past Monday, Vince cucked us all with an Ambrose heel turn so bet on some treachery teasing as we see everyone but Roman get adulation for their presence. The Shield merch machine will keep chugging along however as the three of them hold strong for a clean victory in Melbourne. Drew will take the pin and more stems sprout tension between he, Braun and Dolph (which was also teased Monday).
Winners: The Shield
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe (WWE Championship)
Samoa Joe pulling a page out of the Steve Austin / Randy Orton book of home invasions amps this feud up to restraining order levels of vitriol and I think things are gonna get worse for AJ before they get better. Until these two rivals finally stop with the total nonstop headbutting, I’m picking Joe to get the belt off AJ because if Joe does, this feud keeps going and we’ll all continue to be entertained.
Winner & New WWE Champ: Samoa Joe
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad
That treachery my digital gums were flapping about earlier? It’s happening with the Bellas as they turn on Ronda and go Green Ranger on her Power Ranger. I’ll make a note to state that this was gonna happen before two Monday Nights ago, but Brie’s kicks heard round wrestling Twitter mixes in that bit of reality WWE so very much likes to utilize in times like these.
Winners: Riott Squad (and possibly Alexa)
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