The 8/22/16 edition of WWE Raw reviewed in about 4 minutes – including the shock return of Triple H, Kevin Owens becoming the new WWE Universal Champion and more…
UNIVERSAL SIT-DOWN
WWE Raw opened with all four participants in the WWE Universal Championship match sitting on stools in the ring, looking like a boyband waiting for a key change.
They all talked about fighting each other in a jokey, happy way, and Seth Rollins occasionally channeled Stephanie McMahon at her most annoying – interrupting other people’s promos and ruining their flow. Owens was brilliantly sarcastic throughout, though. Speaking of Stephanie at her most annoying…
BROCK LESNAR IS GOING TO GET ‘IT’
Because we haven’t had a solo in-ring Steph promo for a while, here she is to talk about Brock Lesnar’s repercussions. I was even more happy than usual to hear Paul Heyman’s voice. He cut a typically awesome promo, but they seemed to be telling the wrong story.
I thought the whole point of Lesnar’s $500 fine for F5’ing Shane McMahon was to be an insult from Stephanie to her brother. From a company that once fined Sheamus $500,000 for brogue kicking a referee, this was literally 1,000 times less.
But Stephanie acted as though she was genuinely angry with Lesnar and Heyman. I’m all for saying one thing and doing another. That’s complex character work. But it came across as confused mixed-messages rather than grand over-arching plot.
Here’s the other stuff that happened…
CHRIS JERICHO BEAT NEVILLE
There was a great pre-match interview between Todd Phil Cecil Tom Phillips and Chris Jericho, reminding us that Jericho cost Neville his Universal Championship qualifying match last week. It’s the little things. They had a good back and forth before Jericho made Neville tap to a brutal-looking Lion Tamer.
NIA JAXX BEAT LOCAL COMPETITOR
They tried to replicate the Braun Strowman squash pre-match interview for Nia Jaxx here, but the interviewer didn’t seem to fully get the ‘you’re going to die soon’ joke. Nia won. Shocker.
SAMI ZAYN BEAT JINDER MAHAL
Jinder Mahal didn’t even get an entrance for his match against Sami Zayn. He’s been booked really strong since his return. That was sarcasm. Zayn was still selling the kayfabe ankle injury he picked up against Seth Rollins last week – which is both a great and sadly rarely-seen storytelling device inWWE today.
NEW DAY & BAYLEY BEAT GALANDERSON & DANA BROOKE
Finally, it looks like we’re seeing Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson introduce their hugely successful faction from New Japan – the Boob Club.
I mean the Brooke Club. Sorry, that was a bit of a Freudian Big, Sweaty Men – I mean ’slip’!
Bayley pinned Dana for the win in this inter-gender tag match, which means Galanderson lose yet again. They should have beat down everyone, Bayley included, at the end. Now that would’ve given them some serious heel heat.
SHEAMUS BEAT CESARO
Sheamus made it 2-0 in his best of seven series against Cesaro. The winner gets to main event the pre-show.
BRAUN STROWMAN BEAT MASKED JOBBER
Braun Strowman beat up a luchador, ripping off his mask at the end.
DARREN YOUNG BEAT TITUS O’NEIL
And off the back of Titus’ promo of the year contender last week, Darreny Young pinned him with a surprise roll-up. But this feud isn’t over yet…for some reason…O’Neil beat Young and Bob Backlund down after the match.
And now, the main event.
For Oli’s thoughts on the WWE Universal Championship match, and this episode of WWE Raw as a whole, watch the video above!
