During the final segment of WWE Raw, I reached a level of disinterest I previously thought impossible. The nonsense between Reigns and Sheamus dragged on interminably, with such little crowd noise that Reigns made “tater tot” his go-to catchphrase because a tepid response is better than zero response.
Reigns correctly used the singular and not the plural, so as to not constantly be referring to testicles. Leave the dirty talk to Joey Ryan and Jim Cornette.
BTW, this wasn’t nearly as funny as the gang on “That ‘70s Show” calling Kelso “Tater Nuts” in the memorable season 3 episode, “Eric’s Panties.” The late Lisa Robin Kelly recounting her “dream about Kelso” was her finest hour.
Reigns and Sheamus are the promotion’s top two singles guys. They are wrestling in the main event of the next big show. But there was ZERO INTEREST.
Nor should there have been. Two guys who can’t really talk traded overly-scripted sanitized drivel for too long. Sheamus actually used the term “sticks and stones.” Reigns should have responded with “neener, neener.” Instead, he said “son” too much.
WWE’s single biggest problem remains overly-scripted talk. Sheamus and Reigns spoke in exactly the same voice, with phrases indigenous to their character clumsily sprinkled in. If you just let Sheamus just talk, I bet he could. Reigns, not so much.
“Teach him a lesson”? “Take him to school”? Who the frig talks like that?
The visual of Sheamus laid out after having been speared through a table wasn’t bad. But most fans had long since tuned out, fallen asleep or jumped out a window.
Reigns has no chance. He’s just not cool, and won’t ever be. When it comes to cool, Reigns makes Batista look like The Fonz, pre-shark.
