3) SWERVE!
Bro…
If you’ll indulge me for a moment, I want to get into a little fantasy booking.
The stage is WWE Payback. John Cena is defending the U.S. Championship against Rusev in an “I Quit” match. After a backstage argument, Lana is told to remain in the dressing room so she doesn’t distract her man during his last chance at the title.
Fast-forward 20 minutes. The monstrous Russian is dominating and Cena has spent his usual 22 seconds on his feet before assume his well-worn position in a chalk outline, dead on the ground. After a solid brawl, Cena makes his comeback and beats the stuffing out of the challenger. He looks to put the match away and Rusev knows it, so he rolls to the outside as a concerned Lana makes her way down to check on her boyfriend.
Always the villain, Rusev gets a brilliant idea, taking hold of her and threatening to attack as John makes it to his feet and realizes what is happening. Rusev yells out that he will do the unthinkable if Cena doesn’t quit the match. The All-American man does the only thing he can do – after at least 45 seconds of stutter-stepping and looking conflicted – grabbing a microphone and saying those two words he promises to never speak: “I QUIT!”
Rusev celebrates with his regained U.S. gold as Cena checks on Lana to make sure she’s OK. When he turns around to confront the new champion, the damsel in distress gets up with a smile on her face and plants a swift kick where the sun don’t shine. Rusev puts him in the Accolade until Cena passes out, and the evil duo celebrates their victory over America as the crowd rains down hatred on BOTH OF THEM.
This is what I believe to be the best way to solve the “Lana Problem”. WWE takes all the momentum she has and uses it to put a tremendous amount of heat on Rusev – which is the ENTIRE POINT of having a manager. Everything she does is to bring the reaction back to him. Rusev gets the title back and a pissed off John Cena gets to continue this program into one final match at Money in the Bank this June.
All eyes are once again on the champion and the challenger.
Vince, I will now accept a position as head of your creative team. My first act is to never talk about Floyd Mayweather ever again.
