*Randy Savage: Shave the beard, un-conk the hair and don’t talk like you’re constipated.
*King Kong Bundy: Five is too long. The WWE Universe has a limited attention span.
*Bad News Allen: You have to be a non-threatening black man. Why can’t you be nice?
I just watched the Savage DVD. Excellent stuff, apart from careening back and forth between shoot and kay-fabe when discussing the feud with Hulk Hogan.
Consider Randy Savage: He appeared ridiculous. Not good-looking. The hair, beard, hat and glasses made him look like a cartoon character. His interview style was the path less traveled, and he came up with his own material. He was small. But when you put it all together – and let him do his own thing – it worked. Savage is an all-time great, one of wrestling’s truly best ever.
In today’s WWE, Savage would be scripted and tinkered into obscurity.
Today’s WWE talent gets put on an assembly line. Everyone makes a BIG GESTURE as they come down the ramp. Everyone has a CATCH PHRASE that gets put on a T-SHIRT. Everyone has a FINISHING MOVE with a clever name. That can go on a second T-SHIRT.
That’s it. Rinse and repeat.
If Vince McMahon weren’t his own boss, he’d have been fired months ago. Years ago. He’s out of touch. A buffoon. That was evidenced by the Steve Austin podcast.
Triple H won’t fix it. He’s too busy being a McMahon.
Kid-friendly is done to placate the sponsors, and create the proper backdrop for top star John Cena.
Instead of doing right by their sponsors and stockholders, WWE needs to do right by its fans. If the fans are happy, the trickledown produces happy sponsors and stockholders.
Keep pretending if you like. But WWE’s product flat-out stinks. They don’t know what they’re doing.
Look at Dean Ambrose. Superb talent. WWE has made him silly. He’s using Christmas trees as a weapon. Would Brian Pillman have done that? You can’t have a PG-13 lunatic.
The gaps in logic remain: Why did Seth Rollins want to take away Cena’s status as No. 1 contender? Seth Rollins has the MITB briefcase, which supersedes being the No. 1 contender. What he has, trumps what Cena has.
If Rollins just wanted to kick Cena’s ass, that’s a different story. But nobody in WWE kicks anybody’s ass anymore. There’s no intensity, no matter how much the announcers scream about INTENSITY. It’s all just filler.
My hunch is, the performers know the product sucks. That happened in WCW. The intensity just disappears.
The part-timers frustrate the customers and, I’m sure, the full-time performers. Sting came in and CHANGED THE COURSE OF WWE. OK. Where is he now? You’re supposed to build off that momentum, not let it dissipate.
Sting provided a big moment. But if this is how Sting was going to be used, in fashion this limited, WWE shouldn’t have used him at all.
Is anybody getting Sunday Night Raw bonuses? Has that been straightened out?
WWE used to feel pressure from the wrestling media. When the wrestling media was just Meltzer, that is.
Meltzer knew what he was talking about. Still does. But before the Internet diluted the message, Meltzer’s criticism rang like a papal bull. Now he’s just one voice of many, and most of those voices are stupid. It’s easier for WWE to shrug off criticism, especially when you sheep bleat in agreement.
But your numbers are diminishing.
Follow Mark on Twitter: @MarkMaddenX
