Prediction: Battle Royal’s Gonna Battle Royal
I like Battle Royals. I really do. But you can’t deny that the formula for every Battle Royal since the beginning of time – since a dozen cavemen first had an over-the-top contest to determine who got to sleep with Ugbar – is exactly the same.
Like always, the ring will have way too many people in it – pretty obvious. There won’t be much room to move around, so most guys will just walk around pretending to do things. Kick. Punch. Struggle in the corner. My favorite thing to do in a Battle Royal is find the one guy who isn’t doing anything, and watch him the entire time – hilarity general ensues.
We know half a dozen people (or more) will team up to eliminate the Great Khali. Either that or they’ll give the big spot to Cesaro, Big E or Ryback. Phrases like “this is for all the marbles” or “Bo Dallas is still hanging in there” or Jerry Lawler doing his stupid half-scream are going to happen, early and often. We know 95% of the people in the match are complete filler. I mean, who thinks Los Matadores, Zack Ryder, Xavier Woods or Heath Slater have more than a snowball’s chance in hell at winning the Intercontinental Championship? There’s 20 guys involved, and like 3 of them have an actual shot.
Drinking Game: drink every time Michael Cole says “_____ still hanging on” or “_____ is still in this thing”. Drink if more than 5 people team up to eliminate Great Khali.
