Girls, Girls, Girls
Posting Impact’s highest quarter-hour is not exactly a coveted honor. It’s akin to being the smartest guy in prison.
But, in the middle of the latest Impact’s disappointing .97 mark, the Tessmacher-James match did a 1.07. That’s right, the Knockouts were on top, not an altogether distressing proposition for an old, fat guy. Tessmacher-James took place at the top of the second hour, a time that usually gets a bump anyway. But, circumstance noted, the women outdid the men.
In some ways, that’s not surprising. Impact’s a terrible product. Latest on my list of critiques: The shameful underuse of Kurt Angle. Angle is Impact’s best performer. He should be pushed as THE top guy. But, as a babyface, Angle can’t be bigger than Hulk Hogan. Call it the “James Storm rule.”
Even in Class A ball, somebody has to finish first. The Knockouts did.
Impact doesn’t do much good booking. But the storyline pitting Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim is Impact’s most compelling, far more interesting than Aces & Eights doing and saying the same thing repeatedly.
The Knockouts roster is well-balanced. Terrell and Brooke Tessmacher (Adams) are two of the three best-looking women in fake wrestling. (A.J. Lee is the third.) They got the semi-legit workers in Kim, Mickie James and Tara. Champion Velvet Sky is a reliable fan favorite.
WWE’s Divas pale by comparison. The Bellas date the right people, but don’t have much else. Will somebody explain Kaitlyn? Weird hair, a bit thick, hardly stunning…and she’s the Divas champ. The list of WWE Divas who aren’t working is much more impressive than the list of those who are.
Impact has one clear-cut advantage over WWE: The Knockouts leave the Divas in the dust.
Women don’t draw money. Never have, never will. But in Impact, the women are coming closer than the men.
That says a lot about the women. And about the men.
Maria Kanellis may or may not return to WWE. Divas currently with the company may or may not be sabotaging that return because of Kanellis' past catty comments about other Divas.
If Kanellis’ enemies really want to mess with her, they should encourage WWE to hire Kanellis…but without her paramour and protégé, Mike Bennett. Get Kanellis back on the road. See how long true love would last.
WWE split up Melina and John Morrison on the road by way of maneuvering Melina into the bed of a bigger star (Batista). This sort of human cockfighting (no pun intended) has long been up VKM’s alley.
IS THE ROCK FINISHED?
The Rock’s WrestleMania injuries aren’t serious. They are annoying.
And they make it likely that The Rock has wrestled his last match.
No matter how much The Rock legitimately loves wrestling, the real money is in Hollywood. The long-term money is in Hollywood. It will get to the point – if it hasn’t already – that studios will require The Rock to ditch WWE.
Hollywood doesn’t respect fake wrestling in the first place, and won’t tolerate a bankable star putting a shooting schedule at risk, or even a film’s promotional schedule. The Rock missed several appearances to pimp “Pain & Gain” due to his ‘Mania malaises.
I didn’t expect The Rock to come back at all, let alone for two ‘Mania main events seven years later. Whatever The Rock does, respect it.
Follow Mark Madden on Twitter: @MarkMaddenX. Listen to his weekly VOICE OF WCW podcast at WXDX.com.
Nick was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and lived there until the age of 18, when he decided to pack his flack jacket and move to New York City.
