WHO’S THAT FAT DUDE?
I watched Ring of Honor for the first time in a while, and I still don’t get it.
The announcing is great. Kelly and McGuinness are big-time. The promotion’s format is great. Ring of Honor is traditional wrestling updated. I understand what ROH is trying to do.
But ROH can’t do it. Not without stars.
I think I wrote this column before, but this week’s ROH show drove that point home in spades. The Young Bucks look like they’re 12. The Briscoe Brothers are genetic mutations that aren’t funny, or fearsome. They’re disturbing in a way that’s not marketable. ROH is chock-full of 5-foot-8 guys. Full of smarmy gimmicks and names like “Technical Lightning.” What’s that even mean?
Kevin Steen is ROH in a microcosm. He’s called “wrestling’s worst nightmare.” Yeah, because he somehow got on TV. He’s fat, but not fat enough to use fat as a gimmick. He’s jowly. He’s soft. He seems non-threatening even when performing heinous acts. Steen looks like a fan who won a contest.
In ROH, he’s a top guy. Not everyone needs to be Lex Luger. But you shouldn’t look like me.
Don’t hand me that nonsense about “paying your dues,” “hard work,” blah, blah, blah. You either have talent, or you don’t. Guys in smaller promotions should at least appear to have WWE potential. Steen doesn’t even have TNA potential.
I’m glad ROH exists, because it provides more jobs for the boys. The booking gets a lot out of a little. But you need stars. There's no C.M. Punk there. No Daniel Bryan, either. Not now.
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Nick was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and lived there until the age of 18, when he decided to pack his flack jacket and move to New York City.
