The wrestling world waits with baited breath to see where Christian (Cage) winds up. But does it really matter? Is he going to make a major difference anywhere? Did he make a major difference at TNA?
The answers are no, no and no. Not hatinâ. Just sayinâ.
I find Christian to be an entertaining performer, even if that CLB (Creepy Little Bastard) moniker did have a basis in fact looks-wise. But being an entertaining performer and drawing money are two different things.
No one is drawing money right now besides WWE as a brand name and John Cena as a merchandise distributor. Everyone else, sad to say, is incidental filler, killed off in WWE by the âaudience of oneâ mentality and killed off in TNA by the fact that very few care about the promotion. Kurt Angle, Mick Foley. Christian and other WWE alumni have been exposed in TNA because they just havenât made a tangible difference. WWE made them hot back in the day, not vice-versa.
When it comes time for a guy like Christian to choose a promotion, heâs making a few decisions within the decisions.
Heâs choosing whether he wants to be a star, or somebody that works in pro wrestling. To the vast majority of the general public, the WWE guys are the stars. One WWE fan in my hometown, Pittsburgh, recently asked me, âWhatever happened to Kurt Angle?â Remember, Angle also lives in Pittsburgh. TNA doesnât exist to most people.
Heâs choosing whether he wants to work a breakneck schedule, or live a life of relative leisure for good money. This is where Angle made the right choice. Working the TNA schedule not only prolonged his career, it probably prolonged his life. Working the WWE schedule might have killed him.
For a performer at Christianâs level, money is almost incidental when it comes to deciding. Either way, heâll do fine. Job security is about the same, too. WWE is releasing a lot of talent, but nobody at Christianâs level.
The âdisappearanceâ of Angle and Foley upon reaching TNA makes you realize that it’s almost impossible for a wrestler to maintain a sense of stardom to the general public without being part of the WWE machinery. Scott Hallâs greatest fame and drawing power came when he was in WCW, but at indie shows and during (ahem) unscheduled appearances on TNA, the fans always chant, âRazor, Razor.â
If I were Christian, Iâd sign with WWE. At 35, heâs relatively young, and would be put in a good spot. His promos are outstanding and now, more than ever, wrestling is primarily about talking and character development. Edge seems to have carved out a permanent niche as a top guy in WWE. Christianâs always-available association with Edge would serve him well. Christianâs health seems good, so the schedule wouldnât be a problem.
If anyone is really rooting for Christian to go back to WWE, itâs Tomko. Tomko recently re-signed with WWE and could really use that link.
But to get back to my original point, whatâs the difference? If Christian stays with TNA, TNA will still be the little engine that canât. If Christian goes to WWE, it wonât add appreciable buzz nor result in an upturn (or downturn) in business.
Wrestling fans fret about the most inconsequential things. But thatâs going to happen, because wrestling is becoming more inconsequential by the day. Mickey Rourke, donât fail us now.
WRESTLINGâS SEAN AVERY
Is there a bigger pig than Batista? In his autobiography, he regaled us with tales of all the girls heâs screwed. Wow. I am SO impressed.
Also in said autobiography, Batista bragged about nailing Melina, who â” at the time â” was supposed to be in a monogamous relationship with Johnny Nitro. Now, in a recent interview, Batista talked about âdatingâ Kelly Kelly. But in an interview of her own, Kelly says that she’s in a relationship with Andrew âTestâ Martin. Hey, Batista! Get your own girl, you jerk!
The whole thing would be boring, except it backs up my recent assertion in this column that the divas are the new rats. Remind me to tell you sometime about the former WWE diva who used to specialize in banging married guys not long after their wives had given birth. Headed for them just like a homing pigeon.
Some might think that all this frenzied rutting among employees is normal given the circumstances of the job, and maybe thatâs true. But consider this: What if all this serial fornicating â” with a too-healthy dollop of adultery thrown in â” went on under the roof of a major corporation like, say, Federated? Would it be tolerated?
Of course it wouldnât. But, in the case of WWE, thatâs why the girls were put on the road in the first place.
JEFF HARDY IN THE STAIRWELL
Debate taste issues all you like when it comes to the Jeff Hardy OD fake-out, but at the end of the day, it served WWE no positive purpose, i.e., it didnât work. No buzz, no pop, no rating, no buy rate. Thatâs how these things should be judged.
I hope you didnât need this incident to realize WWE has no respect for those who really did sacrifice their lives while working for the company. Thatâs been evident all along. Unless youâre married to the princess, WWE employees are chattel, totally interchangeable. But as long as that Eddie Guerrero DVD sells, heyâ¦allâs well that ends well
