WWE Championship: Randy Orton defeats John Cena and HHH
–Let me preface by informing you all something about myself. I have a high tolerance for sleep. I can run perfectly fine on a half an hour’s worth of sleep. I have an inability to nap, ever. Even when I’m exhausted, it takes me an hour or longer to fall asleep. And let me start off reviewing this match by saying three simple words: I fell asleep. There’s a 2 minute gap of this match that I missed because I was so bored out of my mind that I IMMEDIATELY dozed off. That’s saying a lot. This match was absolute trash from beginning to end. Did the notes for the match backstage say "your goal is to stand and walk around the entire time and do virtually nothing"? As with most triple threat matches that aren’t consisting of competitors that are good enough to "carry a match", these three fell into the trap of having one of them remain outside while the other two went at it. It’s less of an AvsBvsC scenario and more of AvsB, B is replaced by C, then A is replaced by B. Then they have what looks like a decent ending, with the double submission, and Orton taps, but the ref keeps the match going on? If they don’t do something with that, it will be such a massive waste of what could be the basis of something interesting. Wouldn’t it make sense to have them say that Orton clearly lost the match, but they can’t figure out whom should really get the win, so Cena and HHH need to fight each other over the vacated title? I wouldn’t want to see Cena/HHH, but at least that would be logical. Instead, the ending is what we all could have predicted with our eyes closed: HHH once again does not take the pinfall. I am so above and beyond tired of seeing the same things on loop. I mean, hell, we even had Rhodes and DiBiase interfere in this match!! Don’t they do that enough, by having it happen every single episode of Raw for the past year? I’m done talking about this.
Miz and Maryse Segment
–Not really necessary unless they plan to build on it.
Diva’s Championship: Mickie James defeats Maryse
–Can the commentators quit trying to say "Maryse" with an accent? It sounds so stupid when they keep calling her "Mudeese". Standard women’s division match. Even if you considered it "great" on those standards, it isn’t saying much.
Unnecessary Legacy Segment
–Explain to me how this couldn’t have been said on Raw.
Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio defeats Dolph Ziggler
–Decent overall. I was less impressed with the match itself as I was with Ziggler. Nemeth seemed like he was putting forth that little extra bit of effort that catches your eye, instead of just putting in enough to get by. Maybe its because he was excited to have a title match, maybe he just liked wrestling Mysterio, or maybe he was just having a great day, I don’t know. Whatever it was, if he continues that, then I think he’ll be making some rather interesting ripples in the WWE.
DVD Plug
–Buy, buy, buy! You paid for this pay-per-view so we could give you advertisements for more stuff you should buy!
World Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Hardy defeats CM Punk
–Well I have to admit, I didn’t see that coming. The match itself was pretty decent, so when the ppv ended, it didn’t leave as much of a bitter taste in my mouth as I had felt the whole rest of the night. I’m a little worried though what they’ll do from here. If they decide to have Jeff Hardy defend the championship against John Morrison, I think that will be a huge mistake. Morrison isn’t nearly as popular as Jeff Hardy yet, and he’ll be booed at SummerSlam if he’s facing Jeff. Also, does anybody else get the feeling that they aren’t confident with these people? CM Punk’s two world title reigns consisted of him basically being a loser that holds the title, and Jeff Hardy’s first two reigns were practically nonexistent. Maybe this one will last a while and be worth it, who knows? And does anybody else think its weird that Jeff Hardy is a three time world champion now? Lol. I’m weary of where they go from here, but I don’t have anything to criticize yet, so I’m hoping they have a good plan.
Overall, I’m extremely glad that I didn’t pay to see this live. There was nothing great about this ppv at all, and when you had the very small amount of good things about it to the overwhelming majority of bad, you can’t really be pleased with an event that you could rank as bad or "severely mediocre at best". If SummerSlam doesn’t deliver better than this…
This has been my smark-out moment and I’m being counted out.
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