I have 12-year-old twin brothers back at home, and given the choice, I would prefer they watch the WWE. I know they would love seeing the high-flying John Morrison, Rey Mysterio, and Kofi Kingston leap through the air and on to their opponents. They would love seeing “superman” John Cena take down the gang of evil that is Nexus. They would laugh at the Big Show’s jokes, cheer for whoever beats up the Miz, fear for the life of whoever has to face Sheamus, and maybe…just maybe…they would make me proud and hate Michael Cole as much as I do.
And when they ask me who the “old guys” like Triple H and the Undertaker are, I would tell tales of a day of old, where men were kings and the dead could rise. But most importantly, when Christmas rolls around and my family is ready to drop hundreds of dollars on toys and games, they’ll ask the boys what they’d like. And instead of Super Mario Galaxy or a new soccer ball, the answer will be Smackdown vs. Raw 2011, or a WWE Championship belt so they can pretend to be just like their heros.
This may sound like a picture perfect scenario that could only be made better by unicorns and a giant chocolate cake, but there is a lot of truth in it.
I wouldn’t want my brothers watching TNA. Aside from the fact that WWE is a magical place of youth and wonder, TNA just doesn’t make any sense. If they want to attach their name to a world of “realism” so badly, why not go the extra mile and make it convincing.
Why not have a man who has just been attacked with a weapon covered in nails take a few weeks off? If they really want to be real, they can admit their writers have no idea what they’re doing, Jeff Jarrett is only pretending to know something about MMA because it’s popular, most of their main event people (RVD, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy) have no believable mic skills, their (former) World Champion is on stand for drug trafficking charges, and Dixie Carter is a push-over who doesn’t know enough about her own company to run it herself.
Wrestling isn’t realistic, it’s a television show where really big guys beat the hell out of each other for money. But what do I know? Maybe TNA is right, and in five years I’ll be eating my own words as I watch them challenge the WWE for supremacy of sports entertainment. Whatever. I’m going to go stock up on replica title belts. If I ever get taken to court, I want to be prepared!
Who needs lawyers and logic when you’ve got the TNA Championships!
Email questions and comments to MikeKillam@gmail.com.
