Rankings (That don’t really matter)
1.) Edge, Rated R Vampire- You thought you knew him, but now you’ll never know for sure. One of the mainstays of the last decade plus has pulled up the stakes and made way for the North Carolina countryside. The thing you have to admire most about Edge is that he was a fan that not only got to live the dream, he exceeded it.
2.) Whom ever came up with the Awesome Kong teaser video- That is exactly what we all were hoping for. The name might change, but it appears (at least for now) that the monster heel we all want to destroy Divaville will soon be here.
3.) Christian, Brood Brother- Like a loyal soldier picking up the flag from the felled flag bearer, Christian now steps into the World title picture. Now even the most ardent Del Rio supporters are thinking, “Weeeelllll, maybe ADR could wait just a little longer…”
4.) Christopher Daniels, He got your back- Though his recent work in ROH has been a satisfying taste treat for fans of the Fallen Angel, it is good to see him back in TNA (as himself and not a secret character on a video game). When a veteran worker with a great reputation can get national screen time in a major feud it is cause to celebrate.
5.) A.P.P.L.E., WWE’s hottest new faction- Laugh if you will, but no one has talked this much about Mark Henry since he had trouble getting into a steel cage.
The “why you should really love Indy Wrestling” award of the week:
Asking your boss for a day off of work to defend your world title.
In what other business does the top draw have to ask for permission from The Man to go defend his hard-earned “word” title? It’s the simple beauty of independent wrestling. One night you’re leaping off the top to secure a pinfall victory and the next day you’re restocking the shelves, unloading stock, or balancing ledgers. It’s all part of the great tapestry of professional wrestling.
The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:
Take the Tag Belts of off Beer Money.
Now, keep in mind, Beer Money is the top team and it makes sense to have them with the belts. However, they are locked in this Fortune vs Immortal feud. That’s about more than the titles. The titles do nothing to advance or add to it. TNA needs to highlight what they do have and, while not quite Ring of Honor’s tag division, they do have a good roster of good, old fashioned tag team talent. Focus on it. But the belts into that simmering crockpot of action and really gives the fans something they aren’t getting in the WWE.
A New Place in History… for Bill DeMott. The guy is a scene stealer on Tough Enough, which has already proven to be an entertaining showcase for Steve Austin. The first two episodes are very good, but still come off as more of a collection of highlights and clips when it comes to the actual training of these future superstars and divas. DeMott’s growling presence, intensity, and comedic roughness brings a needed credible edge to the show. DeMott should no longer just be looked at as the guy who portrayed General Hugh G. Rection.
Fast Count…
The way I see it… John Cena proclaiming that he will walk into WrestleMania 28 as the WWE champion not only provides a good story structure for the next year; it also guarantees that The Miz’s spot as the champion will probably be secure for a lot longer than most of you want. (Bbbbbbbwwaaahahahahahaha!)
I would totally love it if… Wade Barrett separated himself from The Corre and got on with becoming a top heel. I still believe he can do it, but the more time spent laboring with the gang of ineffectual street toughs is only going to dampen his climb.
I gotta think… that the Sin Cara trampoline has got to go. Good idea in principle, but you just know that one day this is going to end with Sin Cara going straight into the top rope in a SIG alert worthy car crash of a botch. Hmmm… second though… that might be too funny to miss. Keep it.
I must confess… the whole Winter/ Angelina Love/ Velvet Sky triangle is starting to make me lose interest in one of the only reasons I routinely tune into TNA Impact! Bring it to a conclusion and start releasing the pigeons again. (All royalties paid to Tazz as required.)
Come on, admit it… knowing that the Bellas are going to be featured on TV for at least a little while longer is not a bad thing.
Seriously… TNA? You have a faction called Immortal that is, outside of legends like Flair and Hogan, currently comprised of Matt Hardy, Bully Ray, Gunner, Murphy, Rob Terry, and Abyss. That’s Immortal? Write that down on paper, read it aloud, and try again.
Sure… I want the NFL season to happen, but what wrestling mark worth his weight in Legion of Doom/ Road Warrior merchandise wouldn’t want to see James “Son of Animal” Laurinaitis roaming the rings of the WWE? Count me in. Even if they call him Bobby McNotRelated. Just bring out the shoulder pads.
Quick… tell me why Mr Fuji would even think Yokozuna could defeat Hulk Hogan just moments after he took Bret Hart to the limit? Stupid, stupid, stupid. No wonder the Powers of Pain dumped you.
Ken Napzok is a writer, comedian, and pro wrestling manager living in Los Angeles. He was on Edge’s side during the Lita drama. He can be followed online at twitter.com/kozpan and twitter.com/TexTunney or contacted at [email protected].
