The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:
Let Robert Roode run wild as a frontman for Fortune.
Let’s remain grounded first: Roode’s aforementioned promo at the top of the May 5th broadcast of Impact! wasn’t particularly groundbreaking, wasn’t one that will be remembered throughout the ages, and it lacked the use of a coconut. However, it cannot be undersold that Roode’s promo got him over as the new face of Fortune. After trying and trying to make uber-worker AJ Styles the centerpiece of Fortune (for understandably good reason), TNA may have stumbled on gold. Roode absolutely took the bull by the horns and added some much needed grit to the feud with Immortal. The boys of Beer Money have always been two of the more respected guys on the TNA roster, but Roode took that giant step to the top. Rumors of the breaking up of Beer Money are surfacing and, surprisingly, that doesn’t seem to be a scary proposition if that means Robert Roode can find himself front and center.
A New Place in History…
… for wearing the championship belt around you waist.
In 1989, the Mega Powers collided and me at WrestleMania V. The match was truly a main event with a prize fight, “oh, here comes the collision” feel. When it was all said and done, Hulk Hogan had vanquished his hated rival, made future President Donald Trump more money, and recaptured the coveted World Wrestling Federation championship. Do you know one of the first things the Hulkster did upon winning the title back? Yep. He strapped it around his waist in the center of the ring for all to see. He was on top of the mountain again and wanted everyone to know it. (Because No Holds Barred certainly wasn’t going to do that.) So, there he was standing in the center of the ring, with all the “world” watching, posing and puffing his cheeks with the belt around his waist. He looked like a champion.
It is well-documented that in this day and age belts… or “championships”… are not what they once were. Always props in a bigger picture, they once were THE story… and you felt that when the title holder came running down to the ring with the belt placed firmly around his waist. Stop slinging them, stop carrying them, stop dragging them. Wear them. Proudly.
Fast Count…
The way I see it… TNA’s Sacrifice pay-per-view has a lather, rinse, repeat card. It’s not without some interesting names and there is some potential for great moments, but a quick scan of the card doesn’t inspire anything other than “wait for the recaps.” The main event is Sting versus RVD for the title. You know who I want to win that match? Tully Blanchard.
I would totally love it if… Tough Enough came down to Martin, the quiet, technically sound kid with the Donny Osmond face, and Luke, the cocky, popped collar kid living the Alex Riley gimmick. Then I would love if it Martin absolutely destroyed Luke in every way imaginable while Stone Cold laughed manically.
I gotta think… TNA is not exactly copying the WWE’s Sin Cara push with the rise of Sangriento, but that’s what it appears like. However, you can’t fault them for taking a talent like Amazing Red and presenting him in a new light. Even if that light comes with tassels.
I must confess… I haven’t watched an episode of NXT since the authorities told me that, legally, I had to stay away from Kaitlyn, but if you pair retired Superstars with a new group then I’ll be tuning in. Road Warrior Animal, Ricky Steamboat, Hillbilly Jim. Doesn’t matter, I’ll watch.
Come on, admit it… you chant “head! head! head!” every time Al Snow comes out from the back during any Impact! broadcast.
Seriously… did a haircut just cost all of Dolph Ziggler’s momentum?
Sure… the return of Batista to the WWE is probably a foregone conclusion, but one can always hope that he wins the MMA world title of the cage punching or whatever they call it and stays away until his eventually election into the WWE Hall of Fame. (Also in that class: The Godfather, Gillberg, Mike McGuirk, and Norman Smiley.)
Quick… follow this guy on Twitter: @MantaurFan
Ken Napzok is a writer, comedian, and pro wrestling manager living in Los Angeles. He only interferes in matches when the other wrestler absolutely had it coming. He can be followed online at twitter.com/kozpan and twitter.com/TexTunney or contacted at [email protected].
